I’m apologetic for assault you up, here’s an iPod blow

Chris Brown on the set of his movie Bone Deep in L.A. (9/8)Rihanna celebrated her 21st birthday Friday night in Hollywood. Guess who called to wish her a happy birthday. Hint: Not her grandma. From the New York Daily... ...read full story

Google is advantageous

Lily Allen leaving the Glamour Awards in London (6/3/2008) Lily Allen was so drunk at last year's Glamour Awards in London that she had to Google herself the next day to find out how she got home. Awe. Some. She... ...read full story

She has no abashment

Paris Hilton at the ExpressJet Pre-Sundance Snow Lounge in L.A. (1/16)

Like stink to shit, Paris Hilton was all over the Hollywood Life House gifting suite at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last week. And, Paris being Paris, she made a complete ass of herself. Reuters says:

Word comes to us late on a Sunday night at the Sundance Film Festival that Paris Hilton left the Hollywood Life House gifting suite with 30 bags — 30 bags — stuffed full of free merchandise from Whiting & Davis, which makes metal mesh material and accessories.

Even the publicity people representing the Hollywood Life House seemed aghast, noting in a press release that the Hilton hotel heiress did it, “without shame.” And we’re wondering why she’s even here. It’s not like she’s in a movie at the festival. (Source)

This story reminds me a lot of that one house in your neighborhood that every Halloween would leave a big bowl of candy out with a "take one piece" sign but kids would always take like 40. Yep, it reminds me a lot of that because every time I think of Paris Hilton, I think that her vagina must be about as gaping as one of those big bowls.

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The afterward has been broadcast by Tom Cruise’s arranger

Tom Cruise leaving his New York apartment (12/8)

In what surely must be a true story and not an attempt to generate buzz for his new film Valkyrie, Tom Cruise is supposedly "living in fear" after receiving death threats. *rolls eyes* From the Daily Mail:

Sources close to the star, a leading Scientologist, say the threats are believed to have come from groups opposed to the religious organisation. The Mail on Sunday can reveal that security has been stepped up around Cruise, 46, Holmes, 30, and their two-year-old daughter Suri. The couple now live at separate locations and move around in bomb-proof vehicles. Other protesters have been angered by Cruise's portrayal of Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg - who was at the centre of the 1944 plot by Nazi officers to assassinate Adolf Hitler - in the film Valkyrie. Last week Cruise attended the Los Angeles premiere of the movie, which was targeted by protesters from the anti-Scientology group Anonymous. He has been forced to increase security around his family since then.

"The threats are perceived to be so great that the FBI has been alerted," said a source. "Tom is terrified. He doesn't feel safe anywhere."

Cruise has spent £5million on an underground bunker in the grounds of his estate in Colorado. In August, threats were made to place anthrax in the air vents of his Los Angeles office. (Source)

The transparency with which this column schemes to drum up attention for Tom's film is so shockingly brazen, it makes his sham religion look almost palatable by comparison. If Tom really wants to promote his film, he should just do what everyone else in Hollywood does to get press: Get married Have a kid Act stupid on national T.V. . . . Nevermind. Apparently he's tried every publicity gimmick in the book except the one we'd all like him to.*

*See: Hoffa, Jimmy

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